PSA

What NOT to do on a night when you’ve had a few glasses of wine and your boys are busy:
 
Finally, after 3.5 years, look at the NICU video footage of your now,  fabulously healthy CDH miracle.  What we saw hope in just floors me.  Where we saw beauty inspires me.  But really, just don’t do it, the end.
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They may all get military cuts soon…

LICE!  Have you had ’em?  Oh my what obnoxious house guests they are, I DO NOT recommend you let them in.  We’ve gotten "the letter" home before, you know the one that makes your skin crawl and your head instantly itch?  We’ve never had the pleasure of actually hosting the little buggers before though and oh, what a pleasure, UGH!  About a month ago, I had just finished packing the whole family up to head out to San Antonio for my mom’s 60th birthday, as in, was loading the dog up to take her to the boarding place before picking the kids up to head out, when my phone rang, "Hi Mrs. Miller, this is the school nurse, I have Jason here and well….he has lice".  I literally screamed in the poor girl’s (she’s not even older than Audrey’s youngerst NICU nurse), "WHATTTT????"  Went and got him; turned out 4 in his class and 3 in Ethan’s had it too.  Cancelled our trip to SA and started the delousing process.  20 loads of hot water wash and super heat dry, hours of vacumming and nit-picking later, and I thought we were clean.  I even started washing, conditioning, and leave-in conditioning with tea-tree oil products in hopes of preventing the reinvestation.  I retreated at 7 days and continued our tea-tree regimen. 
So silly to feel protected by the tea-tree; got the call today, Ethan has "several nits".  I screamed in her ear again, ugh!  Neither Audrey or Jason had any on them, but they were treated to the super-fun combing session and shampoo too.   After I treated Ethan, I took him to get a buzz cut.  I sat there the whole time on pins and needles hoping I had gotten them all so the stylist wouldn’t have to freak out if she saw any.  Apparently I’m quite the nit comber, as she had no clue.  After, I told Ethan how nervous I had been and he says, "I know mom, my heart was beating super fast the whole time!"  Awesome, I’ve taught my child to lie by withholding information, I’m such a great mom! 
 The last load of laundry is in right now.  We’ll be treated to Audrey telling everyone "my brother has bugs in his hair" for the next few days until she forgets which will probably coincide with us getting it again, fun times at the Millers!  Remind me to share yesterday’s folly too, Jason in the principal’s office for writing "poop" on an assignment…they LOVE the Miller family at our school!  Wait til they get Missy Miss!
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She’ll teach me…

In true Audrey fashion…I write a whole blog about what a toot she can be and she’ll slam me with perspective.  She has been pull-up free at night for months now without ever having an accident.  This morning she woke up with a "little accident mommy".  Of course the message I heard was, "Complain about how tough she is and she’ll remind you of something you should be thankful for…she may be tough, but she is potty-trained already, oh,  and ALIVE, be thankful beyotch!!"  Got it.  She’s still a toot though 😉
 
Ethan stayed home today and I wasn’t going to take him in but something told me I’d better and yep, sure enough, Strep.  They just went to the dentist this week, what a waste of a new and free toothbrush, bummer.
 
Have a good weekend!   
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Thinking about a return to blogosphere…

Hello old friend, how have you been?  Facebook took your place but I’m ready to try adding to my verbage again!  The Millers are well.  Audrey is fabulous and terrible all at the same time…her health, FABULOUS, her rating on the ease of parenting scale?  HARD!  If I would have known before she was born how stubborn, independent, determined, and smart she was, I would have NEVER doubted that she was going to live.  Of course she kicked CDH’s ass, she beats me down daily!  Seriously can not win for trying with little miss I-don’t-miss-a-thing-and-don’t-you-try-to-sneak-anything-past-me.  Negotiations with her are never win-win for anyone but her…."Audrey, in 2 minutes we are leaving the park"  "but I won’t be ready then, I need 10 more minutes of swinging"  "sorry, my car is leaving in 2 minutes"  "but I won’t be in it yet" and it goes on and on and on until I get done and carry her kicking and screaming to the car where the fight continues trying to buckle a 3 year-old who is stronger than 10 men!  It doesn’t always go that way, but it’s a great illustration of how her 4th year is going–Audrey wants everything on her terms when she want it!  Just tonight we finished everything early and so were watching a movie together; "Audrey, get your TT (blankie) and cup before we go upstairs" (essentials for AJ to watch a movie with) "Mommy, I just need TT, I’m not even a little bit thirsty".  Everyone is settled in, Horton has just determined that he definately heard something on the speck and Audrey starts, "where’s my drink, where’s my cup, get it mommy, get it mommy, get it".  Lights on, movie paused, boys annoyed, "I’m sorry Audrey, what?" (her cue that she’s being rude), "mommy, will you please go get my cup?"  "oh, Audrey, I would love to but I asked you to get it before the movie to get it and you said you didn’t need it"  "I need it now"  "okay, go and get it"  "no, I need you to get it"  "I"m sorry, I can’t do that"  "but mommy, the light isn’t on in my room and that’s where my cup is"  "I’m sure your light is on, you can go" panic and fit start  "mommy, mommy, mommy go get it"  Ethan pops up, "come on Audrey, I’ll turn the light on for you" smug, Audrey goes down with him.  When they return, Ethan looks at me deadpan and says, "you were right mom, the light was on, start the movie"  Poor boys! 
 
As crazy and frustrating as she can be though, we still gaze with starry eyes at her.  She told Jason tonight "I love being your sister, we are like the best brother and sister ever" (not sure where she gets her vernacular from, strange!)  Yesterday out of blue she wrapped her arms around my legs and said, "I just love you so much mommy".   I think she knows that those moments pull me through the fits and irrational 3 year-old stuff!   I am hoping that turning 4 will help, I remember 3 being a tough age for the boys too. 
Ethan and Jason are great.  We moved this summer and the new school has been a little tough on Ethan but Jason is a ROCKSTAR Kindergartner.  He’ll tell you he doesn’t like school but only because he thinks it the cool thing to say…he LOVES it and is just thriving there.  E is doing well but still finds himself missing his old friends.  He’s so big now too, the conversations we can have with him blow me away, he’s insightful and so observant.  I wish he could stay 8 though, I’m scared for the loss of innocence that is coming too quickly. 
Our new home is coming together well; we moved in late June after a whirlwind of craziness.  Our house sold in 2 days, we had our first offer 2 hours after it hit the market and I hadn’t even gone out looking yet for a new place!  Nathan has still been on the M-TH travel schedule this whole time but it is finally coming to an end soon– as in next week is his last week!!!  His new gig will still have some travel, but nothing like now.  Last week when I told the kiddos at dinner, all three danced in their seats at the prospect of having dinner with daddy during the week!  We can’t wait! 
 
That’s the update in a nutshell…I hope to be back much sooner than 6 months!
This past weekend was my birthday, the crown is compliments of Jase!
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Talking about HELP US BECOME A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION!!

  It’s that time of the year, people….time for Connor’s Books!  Since before Audrey was born, I have talked about and solicited books from all of you; for both of Audrey’s birthday parties she collected books instead of gifts.  This year I’m asking for you to help in another way…Please read the following from Connor’s Mommy’s blog.

Quote

HELP US BECOME A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION!!

Who knew that way back in Kindergarten when we received a flyer about girl scouts and I asked Emma if she was interested we would end up here?!! The response from the girl scouts has been INCREDIBLEWe don’t have a final number yet and hopefully this darn flu won’t ruin everything but we are looking at close to 3,000 books.  Yep, 3,000 BOOKS !!!!   The response has been so wonderful.  The girls have been so excited and some are doing their very own book drives at their schools.  Outstanding!!  We had our own book drive with our troop and there I was with the girl scouts holding up signs that read Connor’s Books as they chanted Connor’s Books, Connor’s Books.  How could I have ever imagined that? 
 
It’s so very amazing that my little boy, who lived such a short amount of time is making a difference.  He is inspiring others to do great things and is bringing such joy to so many children.  As always, I just don’t have the words to describe what this means to me.  As Connor’s mother I was so fearful that since he lived only 14 hours that he would be forgotten, that the world would simply go on without him.  But now, because of so many wonderful people, I know that will not happen.  I know that his star really will forever shine brightly.
 
From the day we started Connor’s Books, my dream has been that we would be able to become a non-profit organization.  Each year, I think about asking for money instead of books but I just can’t.  I hate the idea of not having books to deliver to Scottish Rite Hospital on his birthday.  But…this year… because of the wonderfulness of the Girl Scouts we have so many books to deliver….I’d like to ask for your help. Next year will be Connor’s Tenth Birthday and becoming a non-profit would be a perfect way to celebrate!  There is so much more we want to do.
 
Please consider donating money to Connor’s Books to help us become a non-profit organization.  You can do this on the website through PayPal or by mailing us a check (payable to Connor’s Books).  Email me at connorsbooks@hotmail.com for the address.  You can even donate in memory or in honor of a loved one – just click on Donation Stars at www.connorsbooks.org to do this. 
 
Thank you.
 
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So much to say, so little time

Obviously I’m not coming here much these days…for the 1 or 2 of you who still check, I’m sorry!  I do appreciate the emails checking on us, thank you!  I have lots of reasons and I may be fleshing some of them out soon, but overall, it’s because being on MONTH 16 of being a single mom 4 days/nights a week has me run ragged AND we have been SO blessed to not have any real medical updates to share about Audrey.  Y’all, she is fabulous!  She’s even made huge progress on her BM issues.  Our only concern right now is her pectus but her doc just wants to keep an eye on it so I’m not worrying about it either. 
 
Ethan’s birthday was fabulous.  We’re not doing parties this year since we are going to Disney World in June, but he still managed to have "the best birthday"!!  I’m still in shock that I have an 8-year-old, where o where is my little baby boy?!  
I will be back next week to chat about our girl’s big third birthday.  Until then, thanks for checking in!
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Going Turquoiseish for March

Nearly half way over but thought I’d put some effort into CDH Awareness.  I’ve been a little lame this year; after our big start (billboard, radio, newspaper, magazine, and finally full-feature magazine article), I’ve done just about nothing this year to educate anyone on Audrey’s birth defect.  Sure I’ve shared her story to a handful of people who didn’t know it, but nothing else.  Haven’t signed up for the March of Dimes walk again either.  I’m not sure what my deal is.  What I do know though is that 3 years ago on this day, the first 2 boys I "knew" with the defect were here and fighting, Jackson was a week old, and Drew was 4 days old.  5 days later sweet Avery would arrive and a month after that, came SofiaAudrey was last but somewhere in there we "met" Jessica too and her darling Parker would come just 3 days after Audrey.  Six women brought together by this crazy defect.  We emailed, blogged, called, stood by each other through cyberspace and now, 3 years later only 3 babies are here.  I miss Drew, Avery, and Parker.  I’m sad we didn’t beat the odds, our six were supposed to be the ones.  Babies keep dying from Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia.  You can read about them over and over and over, it sucks.  I wish I had direction on what I’m supposed to do, I just haven’t felt called to anything specific.  Some of my friends are doing great things, I’ll continue to support them.  To all the amazing people I’ve met in the CDH world, thanks for all you’ve given us during our journey.  To all the parents of babies lost to this defect, my heart aches for you.  I promise they will never be forgotten.   Hopefully someday CDH will be a defect of the past.

For now, here’s my favorite CDH Warrior…

IMG_2204   You’ve come a long way, baby! 

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Getting ready for Spring Break!

I’ll explain the color change later, too deep to write right now.  New pictures, funny stuff as always at the Miller house.  Not much of interest to share…Ethan’s huge project got finished and poor kiddo missed one point because he didn’t bring his main resource book in with the project (as it clearly stated on the project sheet).  OOPS!  “Ethan, I’m taking it back to the library, you won’t need it”  “Mom, I think I do”  “You don’t, don’t worry about it”             I’m such a stellar mom!

Jason has traded Superman for Princess garb.  Today was the first day and I think it had more to do with me not helping with costuming more than choice.  He can get both he and AJ dressed in the Princess outfits but requires help with everything else.  I said they could play dress up while I folded laundry but then we were going to Wal-Mart. They wanted to go dressed up!  I can’t wait for daddy to see the pictures! 

We’re headed to San Antonio and Austin for Spring Break. Nate has traded OKC for Austin and we haven’t been to SA since Thanksgiving.  The kids ask everyday how much longer until they get to go to Grandma and Papa’s, please Friday, get here!  It’s only Monday, right? Help! 

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Quote of the day…

"wow mom, it looks easy for the girl on tv, it looks hard for you"  so says Ethan as he watches me attempt a Pilates DVD today.  Why wasn’t I at the gym not under their watchful eye?  Because all three tested positive for Strep yesterday!  Poor Audrey is a mess but the boys do not seem sick to me, punks!  We had a pretty good cooped-up day except poor Audrey’s constant fits.  I can do pathetic, hold-me-mommy sick way better than I’m-going-to-make-everyone-as-miserable-as-me sick.  It’s so hard to be empathetic when she’s literally chasing Jason to hit him for no reason!  The day ended well though.  The boys will go back to school tomorrow and Audrey will just have me to abuse in the afternoon.  Should be a super kick off to the weekend!  Have a good one.
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My Funny Valentine…

Or
The Miller’s Friday the 13th…whatever you think is the better title!

 

The call from Jason’s school to come immediately was actually my third call of the day.  Ethan’s school nurse was first with "Mrs. Miller, Ethan is in here with an earache and his ear looks pretty bad, please come and get him".  I was at the gym when that call came in and as soon as I hung up, I heard "Attention members, Jennifer Miller please report to the fun club…".  I was on my way anyway!  I expected to see a sad Audrey but instead she just needed help getting on the potty.  Once I had Ethan and Audrey home, Ethan medicated and Dr. appt made, my phone rings again.  "Mrs. Miller, Jason’s had an accident and we think he needs medical attention…"  Poor Jason, last but definately the winner!  What are the chances of 3 calls within an hour and a half?  I tell you what, Miller chances!  We’ve been so chill lately that I guess we needed a little reminder of what Miller crazy is!  He’s fine, but the entrance the ER was not pretty.  Apparently he remembered the last admit when they did stitches.  Kicking, screaming and eventually punching me out of sheer terror.  He got away once and ran out the door but I got him just as he reached the parking lot.  It was quite the scene!  I finally calmed him down enough to get him back to the room.  Once there and assured that they could do glue instead of stitches, his superman skills kicked in–he was a perfect patient. 

Oh yeah, what did he do?  Tripped while carrying a plastic dinosaur–pterodactyl in the forehead, greatness! 

Happy Valentine’s Day!  I may or may not have received yummy, perfect diamond stud earrings!!  We’ll see if a picture surfaces soon.

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